Armed With A Mind

I'll probably ramble a lot cause I haven't written in a while and I feel like I have a lot to say, so bear with me.

To start, my last post got a lot of attention. Mostly unwanted attention. Certain people that I mentioned didn't like what I had to say, and the post was edited accordingly. I am not happy about that, but I rather not have to deal with the drama. What I said was the whole truth and I should be able to say that, but at the same time, some people don't like the truth. I don't write to cause problems, I just write to say whats on my mind. Some people enjoy it, some people don't. Some people will compliment me on how much they like it, some people will try to tell me how much no one cares and insult me because that's how immature they are. Its all good, I'm not phased by it. I actually laugh at it all.

I am not a fan of drama if you couldn't tell. I try to keep to myself when it comes to that kind of stuff. I try not to get involved with stuff that doesn't involve me. I try not to let myself get dragged into it either. I'm in the process of trying to rid myself of the dramatic people. Its hard when you care about people that are just not good. Some of the people I have associated myself with that last few years seem like they are just magnets for confrontation. I don't want to deal with that kind of stuff anymore. I don't want to be grouped in with certain people because I hang out with them, therefore I am somehow involved in their drama. I don't like that. If it doesn't directly involve me, I want to be kept out of it. I try not to let things bother me, but sometimes I have to stand up for myself when I feel disrespected. I feel like I don't go disrespecting people, so I should be given the same respect. I have my certain lifestyle that I live, and other people have theirs. I never judge, I never insult anyone, or make fun of anyone, so I just want to be treated the same. I don't think its that much to ask.

I think its funny when people try to make me feel stupid or talk down to me. I don't sit on my phone googling useless information all day. I have a job, I have a life, I don't have time for pointless researching. I don't care how many big words you use in your vocabulary, that doesn't make you better than me. Its also funny that half the people I know that went to college have worse jobs than me and get paid less than me. Don't get me wrong, college is needed for a lot of shit, but half the stuff they teach you is stupid pointless shit that you will never need. The fact that you went to college doesn't make you smarter than me. It might mean you know some useless math equations, or scientific formulas, wrote a lot more pointless papers on shit no one cares about, but it doesn't make you better or smarter than me. You see, while you were wasting 4 years of your life with your face in books reading charts and letters, trying to figure out what x and y equal when you use them in this formula that looks like some stupid squiggly lines that a 2 year old drew, I was learning more important things. In a way, I am smarter than a lot of you. I found a way to be happy. I love what I do, I love playing music, I love working with my best friends, and it makes me happy to know that I will not wake up everyday hating my life because I went to school for something I am not happy doing. I respect those of you who become doctors, lawyers, teachers, the people that actually need to go to school. But I am not going to respect anyone who thinks they are better or smarter just because they went to college. Going to school will never teach you what matters in life. It'll never teach you to love, to care, to smile. That's the kind of stuff you can't pay to learn, and in my opinion, its all that will ever matter. Money, material things, status, none of that makes a difference unless you are happy.

The other day I was basically told that I would never be good enough because I have visible tattoos. It really bummed me out at first because it was by someone who I used to care for a lot. This person never came across as someone who would change like that, but they did. I don't know what it was, whether it was college, whether it was the kind of people they met there, I don't really know. The fact is, the person I knew is no longer the same. I can understand as people grow up, their "type" may change. Girls aren't always going to want guys with better hair than theirs or tighter pants. But tattoos? We don't live in the 70s anymore. Everyone has tattoos. Mine are just in places you can't hide them. But why should I have to hide them. They aren't disrespectful to anyone. They aren't inappropriate. They're just there. So to be told that I wouldn't fit in at a function, or a party, or anywhere, just because I have tattoos, was such an insult to me. People that judge by looks alone are not people I want to be associated with. I feel sorry for you in a way. Not everyone with tattoos is a criminal, or a bad person, I know some of the most amazing people in this world who are covered in tattoos. Some of my best friends have them from head to toe and they are the most caring, thoughtful people that I have ever met. The longer people think like you do, the longer this world will be shit. I mean I don't think the world will ever be perfect, but what people choose to put on their bodies, should not effect how other people view them as people. Don't be shallow or judgemental. Everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves.

It was only a matter of time before I had something to say about girls. So confusing, so hard to understand, yet I never give up when I should. I'm trying to change that, but its easier said than done. I find it amusing when girls complain about never finding decent guys. Don't blame anyone but yourself on that one. You all go for the shitheads, that's no ones fault but yourself. I don't think its that hard to spot someone who is full of shit, but maybe that's because I am a guy. It's pretty simple, if a guy seems sketchy, he is. If he has a bad reputation, chances are he hasn't changed. No matter how sorry he is, he will screw up again. There are some out there that will change, that will learn from mistakes and learn to be better people, but they have to actually care. Guys will screw up. Their attention will wander. They will want more than what they have. Its the ones that do not take what they have for granted that will stay faithful. Some guys will get hurt and use that as fuel to screw over more girls. Some will turn it around and learn from it and just try harder the next time. Some guys will fuck up with someone they care about and just brush it off and do it to the next one. But some will regret it for the rest of their lives and make sure it never happens again. As a girl, you just have to figure out which one you are dealing with. You control what kind of guys you get involved with. So don't complain when he cheats on you, you stay with him, and expect it not to happen again. Don't be so naive. Oh and step one to finding a decent guy would probably be not being a shitty girl. I don't know how you expect to find a decent guy when you have fucked over a bunch of guys and are known for it.

The past 2 weekends I spent in Orlando with friends, not thinking about girls, just having fun. I have been in a good mood because of that. It feels good to not be looking for someone anymore. I think I'm finally happy with myself, not needing someone else to make me happy. Maybe that's why I was so unhappy for so long. You can't depend on other people to make you happy. You're usually going to be let down. I was, many times. But I think I'm finally at the stage where I know I don't need anyone but myself. I am focusing on myself and getting my shit in order. If someone comes along and it works out, awesome. But I won't go searching for it. It'll happen when its supposed to.

In the next couple weeks I have a ton of stuff going on. Living With Lions is Thursday in Miami. Halloween is this weekend, which I have no idea what I am doing for, but I'm sure I'll find something. Next week Kristen and Justin from OTN are coming in and Friday is the benefit show at Talent Farm. I am really glad I got involved with this charity and have met some amazing people through it. Please come out and support a good cause. Later on in November I have the Fireworks show, NFG/Dashboard in South Florida and Orlando, Thanksgiving and Black Friday. I'm also gonna try to make it out to visit some friends out of town. Tallahassee for sure, Melbourne in December, maybe New York and California. Those will obviously be spread out over time. I can't afford all the traveling just yet. I have some debt to take care of first. I'd love to finally make it to Times Square for New Years, but we will have to see about that.

I think that's all I've got for now. I have a tumblr that I post a song of the day everyday on. Check that out if you haven't yet. Tumblr

Not sure when I'll have more to write about. I probably forgot something on here so maybe I'll be back soon. Till then, take care.